In memorium

While grieving the loss of my precious, bow-legged shih tzu, CoCo, and my little gray-face brindle chihuahua, Taterbug, memories came flooding back to me about my other little ones that are already in Heaven awaiting my arrival.
Taterbug-13 year old brindle chihuahua-died from congestive heart failure
CoCo-Shih tzu- died from Cusings disease
Caesar-albino Chihuahua-killed by a male dalmation
Molly-Cocker Spaniel-died from colic (I think)
Sassy-Rottweiler-died from demedectic mange
Daisy-Rottweiler-Parvo
Judu-Chihuahua-died giving birth to Jean
Jean-died at birth
Prissy-Border Collie-died in a freak car accident
Queenie-mixed mutt-died from skin infection on the way to the vet
Champ-German Shepard-died from poison from next door neighbor
Bubbles-Chihuahua-died of old age
Zipper and Bullet-German Shepard Pups-died from distemper right after we got them
Wallop-Australian Border Collie-died after being ran over by a popsicle man, right in front of my house and with 20 kids watching. He did it purposefully and went to jail if I remember correctly.
Lucky-little mixed puppy, my first as a child-ran over by a train

Each of these little dogs helped me build more and more love towards all dogs. They were with me at every good time or bad time in my life. These are those that I wish to reunite with when my Forever day comes. I went from the most recent back to the first. I loved each and everyone of them with all my heart. It is a shame that their lifespan is not equal to ours but I think there is a purpose in that. God wants us to spread our love over many years and if they lived as long as we do, then we would keep that one special friend forever and not enjoy the love of others. Each of these dogs owns a piece of my heart. I hope they are patiently awaiting my arrival in Paradise

I had some friends

My Friend



I had a friend for many years,

We met before the day

Where Father Time had touched his face

And streaked his hair with gray.



We met when I was very young.

He held me in his arm

And softly whispered in my ear

"You'll never come to harm."



"You have my heart my little friend,

I'll never leave your side

No matter what will come along

Our souls forever tied."



So I went home, to my surprise

My sister came with me

And while she liked the strange old man,

She clearly did not see.



He was much more than one to wake

For breakfast at the dawn,

Or one to let us go outside

And play upon the lawn.



He loved me even in the days

I couldn't come and play.

He'd hold my head and stroke my chin

Bend close and softly say,



"What's wrong my boy, come out and play,

Come join me in the sun."

And though I'd try to play with him

My playing days were done.



I'll not forget when last I saw

My big and gentle friend.

He held my head and stroked my side

I knew this was the end.



Although I tried to lick his hand,

My eyes began to close,

And as I was about to leave

A tear caressed my nose.



So now I wait outside a gate,

The sun is warm and bright.

The fields are green and water sweet

With stars so bright at night.



And though I've yet to step inside

These gates of pearly white,

The sound of music ventures forth

And warms my heart at night.



For now, I'll wait. It won't be long,

My path will soon be free.

My friend will walk me through the gate

You see . . . he'd wait for me.

To CoCo and Taterbug

For my babies

How I long to touch you
Just like I did before
Scratch you behind your ears
And hold you just once more
Your time with me was much too short
I love you so very much
You have went to Heaven to await me
And, I no longer feel your touch
But your spirit is right here with me
Until my dying days
You knew without doubt, the love I felt
And our love will never go away
So Taterbug and CoCo To God I give you back, mournful to the end
Until the day, we are re-joined And my heart is on the mend

I love you two little babies

The Eyes of a Dog

What do the eyes of a dog tell you or show you? I believe, when we look into the eyes of a dog, we see the face of God. I believe we feel the love of God shining in our faces. I believe when we look into the eyes of a dog, we see undying pure love and devotion. I believe when we look into the eyes of a dog, we see wonderment in life and nature. We see the glee in a new chew toy. We also see innocence, beauty, friendship, dreams, adventure and many, many wonderful things. I believe if we look closely enough at them, our dogs can see the same things in our eyes while looking into the windows of our soul. A dog's eyes can show you a glint of mischeviousness, a glimmer of hope and sparkles of love. Our dogs show us all these things and all they ask is that we pay attention and see these wonderful things they are showing to us. Are you paying attention?

"I Must Go First"

"I must go first to pave the way"
CoCo said to himself
"Taterbug is fast approaching her Forever Day
and I have to cross over to help"

She puts on a brave face for others
But I know she's scared, frail and gray
I'm tough and strong so I can help her
Journey on her Forever Day

I'll be there waiting so she can see
That I'm healthy, strong and free
When she takes her last earthly breath
And steps into Eternity

I will show her the wonders of Heaven
Through meadow and fields we roam
And we will watch over Momma and Daddy
Till our good Lord calls them home

It could be tomorrow, maybe even today,
or 50 years from now
But the time is known only to one
Only our loving Father can say

But we will wait forever
Side by side, Paw in paw
Until that beautiful day
When Momma and Daddy hear God's call

And as they cross over into the Heavenly light
We will run to them, tails wagging,
And say, "Welcome, Momma and Daddy"
"What took you so long?"
To everyone we've been bragging

Of the love you gave and the tears shed
After we were gone
We wanted to stay-we tried to say
You were never, ever alone

We saw the countless tears you weeped
And knew that inside you were hurting
But the tears were a witness, the angels said
Of your devotion, longing, and loving

So now you are with us again
For Eternity, never to be parted
The moment that you arrived here
Our true lives just got started

I wonder

I wonder, are my little dogs, Taterbug and Coco, sitting in the lap of Jesus? I wonder, do they know how loved they truly were? I wonder do they know that I thought of them as more than "just dogs", but as friends, companions and family members? I wonder, do they watch over us with love beaming down from Heaven? I wonder do they know that their passing has left a void in my heart that will never get better? I wonder if they are younger, healthy, vibrant and awake everyday with a new found sense of wonder in Paradise? I wonder, if when I looked into their beautiful eyes was I really looking into the face of God? I wonder if I was worthy of the undying love that a beautiful dog is capable of giving? I wonder if they have forgiven me for any of the faults and short-comings I had as a human and as their Daddy? I wonder, if when my Forever day happens, will they be at the gates of Paradise to meet me with kisses, licks, tail wags and happy barks? I wonder these things often but know that they are indeed CoCo and Taterbug's reality. The only pain ever caused by a beloved pet is with their passing. Rest easy my babies. Daddy and Momma love and miss you and talk about you all the time. You two cut out huge portions of real estate in our hearts.

THE SPIRIT OF A DOG


I was standing on a hillside
In a field of blowing wheat,
And the spirit of a dog
Was lying at my feet.

He looked at me with kind dark eyes,
Ancient wisdom shining through.
In the essence of his being,
I saw the love there too.

His mind did lock upon my heart
As I stood there on that day,
And he told me of this story
About a place so far away.

As I stood upon that hillside
In a field of blowing wheat,
In a twinkling of a second
His spirit left my feet.

His tale did put my heart at ease,
All my fears did fade away
About what lay ahead of me
On another distant day:

I live among God's creatures now
In the heavens of your mind,
So do not grieve for me, my friend,
As I am with my kind.

My collar is a rainbow's hue,
My leash is a shooting star.
My boundaries are the Milky Way
Where I sparkle from afar.

There are no pens or kennels here
For I am not confined,
But I'm free to roam God's heavens
Among the Doggie kind.

I nap the day on a snowy cloud
Gentle breezes rocking me,
And dream the dreams of earthlings,
And how it used to be.

The trees are full of liver treats,
And tennis balls abound,
And milk bones line the walkways
Just waiting to be found.

There even is a ring set up,
The grass all lush and green;
And everyone who gaits around
Becomes the Best of Breed.

For we're all winners in this place;
We have no faults, you see.
And God passes out those ribbons
To each one, even me.

I drink from waters laced with gold,
My world a beauty to behold;
And wise old dogs do form my pride
To amble at my very side.

At night I sleep in angel's arms,
Her wings protecting me,
And moonbeams dance about us
As stardust falls on thee.

So when your life on Earth is spent
And you stand at Heaven's gate,
Have no fear of loneliness —
For here, you know, I wait.　

We love you so much Taterbug and CoCo. We miss you until we meet again

Taterbug, my beautiful baby girl

It is with great sadness and a grief stricken heart that I write this. My beautiful, 15 year old brindle chihuahua, Taterbug, passed away in my arms, from congestive heart failure. Appropriately, she chose D-Day, June 6, 2010 to leave this world. She picked her own day and time. It was just like her to go out on a memorable day.

I got Taterbug as a 4 week old puppy. She was the runt of the litter and looked just like a tiger kitten when she was young. She was so tiny when I picked her up from the breeder that I put her in my shirt pocket and you couldn't even tell she was there. But as she grew up, my God but her personality was huge. And she was beautiful. And she knew it. She literally grew up with my children. As she got older, she was a little ornery and would bite just because chihuahua's do that. She would wag her tail, bite you, and look at me as if to say, "Father, you dear kind man, I love you to death, but I love biting you too. Please, dear man, do not take it personally, it is just what I do.".

We loved her as much as we loved our own children. My kids thought of her as their sister. I called her many nicknames over the years. Taterbutt, Little Fatness, Little Mean, and finally when the hair on her face started graying, I called her, "my gray faced old girl". Our love for her was huge and intense. And she loved us so much. She would literally holler for me when I came in from work. She would prance around to get my attention, as well.

The years passed. We got other little dogs. Lexi, CoCo and Spot. We loved them dearly but Taterbug was the "Queen" of the household. Anyway, we lost CoCo on April 3, 2010 to Cushings disease. It caught me off guard. While grieving the loss of CoCo, who by the way, would put a diabetic into a coma because of his insane level of sweetness, I started thinking about what would happen if one of the others got sick. Then it happened.

I came in from work one Saturday night, Taterbug, did exactly as she had done so many other times. She yelled for me, tail wagging, and squinting her eyes, making what I called her little "beautiful eyes" at me. After the dogs calmed down from the excitement of my arrival, I said to my wife, "You know, Taters getting old now. I hope she stays with us for a while". My wife told me not to talk that way. Anyway, I was sitting on the couch, Taterbug came to my side, screamed in distress, fell over and I thought she died right then. She had what I thought was a siezure. Eyes rolled back, she went limp, legs straightened and she quit breathing. After I panicked for a minute, she opened her eyes, licked her lips, and seemed to recover. I breathed a huge sigh of relief as she immediately started acting normal. We later went to bed, her with us as always. Things seemed okay. I was so wrong.

Sunday, Taterbug woke up but was having trouble breathing. She was walking as though she was drunk. Had another episode, not as bad but I freaked out again, called the Emergency Clinic. The guy that answered immediately started talking about euthanasia because of her age. I hung up on him. She had difficulty breathing all day that Sunday. I asked God to let her live so I could get her to her regular vet. He did and we took her to him Monday morning. He told us she had just fainted because of fluid around her heart and in her lungs from congestive heart failure. He also said he could treat it and she should be okay. I was ecstatic. My beautiful baby was coming home.

She did return home and we gave her medicine exactly as perscribed. She did better the first day home but started having breathing problems again. I took her back to her vet. He said she was just having a reaction to her meds and to give her a few days but she would get better. So, we did. She had lost her appetite, was very weak, could barely stand. We hydrated her with syringes of water because she would not drink on her own. She never got better. She finally quit eating and drinking one Friday, almost two weeks after the fainting incident. I took her back to her vet. He said "clinically" she is okay. I asked him specifically if her death was imminent. He said emphatically, "NO", and said give her a little more time to get adjusted to the meds.

Saturday, still no appetite, still not drinking, still having breathing problems. But she made it to Sunday but it was much worse. She could not stand as she was so weak. Her body was heaving with every breath. I told my wife we had to take her to the Emergency Clinic and have her put to sleep. My wife almost got hysterical. I was crying my eyes out and I made a bargain with God. I told him if he was not going to save her, then take her quickly. I then picked her up and told her, "Baby, if you need to go to Heaven, then just go. Don't worry about us."

Now in her later years, she had gotten hard of hearing, but in my last words, she was looking me straight in my eyes, and she understood. She stood up in my lap, started barking her "happy" bark. Her bark of recognition. Her eyes focused on something or someone in the distance. She barked for a good 20-30 seconds. Then she lay down in my lap, buried her beautiful little face in my left arm pit, took two deep breaths, and died. I know that when she started barking right before she died, CoCo had come from Paradise to escort her home. She recognized him and was happy. CoCo was a tough little boy and she was frail and small. He just had to make sure she made it without being scared. I know they are in Heaven together now. I just know it. I buried her right beside CoCo in a waterproof container, with patterned brick on top and lattice railing around the perimeter. I made two crosses for them. It is a beautiful spot to rest.

I loved both of them so much. I can hardly wait until I am reunited with them. They wait on me together, with no sickness or sadness. I would have gladly taken their illnesses upon myself to spare them but, alas, God had other plans. Now, I did get mad at God. I thought He was punishing me for something. I railed, cursed and swore at him for days. Then the realization hit me, He was not punishing me, He was rewarding them. My mind is more at ease now but the emptiness is still mind boggling. One last thought, these two perfect beings were loved by me, more than I love most humans. They never,lied, cheated, stole anything or said any hurtful words. The only pain they ever caused was with their passing. How many humans could honestly say that? They were perfection realized here on Earth. I miss them terribly and just hope to God that I was worthy of their love.